Trying New Things

So yesterday I hit a wall.  I couldn't handle real life anymore and I left my DH with all 3 boys and ventured out into Osan all by myself.  My mission get new shoes and try a few new things.  I wandered around the shopping district a little overwhelmed with all the choices.  The first shoes store I actually went into was very posh, but the lady inside was not impressed with my ginormous feet (I'm a size 8) and led me to the small portion of shoes available in my size.  She was kind of stand offish and I wasn't impressed with the selection in my size.  Another shoe store and the lady was talking on the phone and was put out by my asking her if a shoe i liked came in my size 8 or 250 (Korean sizing) she said no and I got out of there.  I was beginning to wonder if I was just out of luck but decided to try one more store.  This lady wasn't super helpful either, but she didn't ignore me.  And when I asked about sizes she didn't look at my feet askance.   I found a great pair of shoes that cost 28,000 Won or $28 US.  As you can see from the pictures they are girly, frilly, very spring-y, and just what a girl needs when life gets flipped all around.

After a little shoe therapy I went into a music store and got strings for my new guitar.  Yep I'm learning the guitar.  Hopefully my DH will be patient with me as I attempt to learn.

After the music store I went bought some food off a food vendor, tempura squid.  It was only ok, I think it would have been better if there was a sauce of some kind for dipping.  I wound up giving the street food to a homeless deaf man who had a sign asking for help in anyway.  I'm not sure what he thought of me for it, but he looked in the bag and took the food.

After that I went back on base spent another 1/2 hour away from the family, got some milk, and went home.  Getting out of the house and on my own did wonders to recharge my batteries.

Then today happened.  Seriously out of everything new in Korea the thing I was least worried about gave me my first honest to goodness panic attack.  Going to church and seeing all the new people just freaked me out.  DH told me that I had nothing to worry about, everyone was welcoming, but for some reason I couldn't get the thought out of my head that these women wouldn't like me.  That I would spend the next 3 years friendless and on the outside circle of things.  I cried off and on during Sacrament and I almost took a taxi home.  DH was wonderful he just held my hand told me everything would be ok and then made me go to Relief Society.  I panicked when they asked me to introduce myself, so I kept talking and talking trying to offer up something of value to these women.  And you know what? My DH was right, they are an amazing group of women who welcomed me and when I just let things be, calmed down a bit, it felt like coming home.  I still had waves of panic, but they weren't overwhelming anymore.  What I forgot was that the Lord knows and loves me.  He wouldn't leave me alone and friendless.  So everything is going to be ok, and I'll keep trying new things.